Happy Birthday, America – Sorry About the Mess

The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave* *(Terms and conditions apply, see 1,200-page bill for details)

Happy Independence Day, America! 🎆

Nothing says "freedom" quite like watching our elected officials pass another thousand-page masterpiece that nobody actually read, while we're all out here trying to figure out if we can afford both fireworks AND groceries this year. But hey, at least the hot dogs are still... well, they're still hot dogs.

Here we are, celebrating the birth of a nation founded on the radical idea that government should serve the people, while scrolling through news that makes us wonder if anyone in Washington got the memo. It's like throwing a birthday party for someone who's been replaced by their evil twin – same face, completely different personality.

The irony is thicker than the smoke from a backyard barbecue: we're lighting sparklers to commemorate breaking free from distant rulers who ignored our needs, while... well, you get the picture. At least King George had the courtesy to be an ocean away.

But you know what? The beauty of this whole experiment is that it's our mess to fix. Those founders who signed that fancy document 249 years ago weren't perfect either – they just had the audacity to believe things could be better. Maybe that's the real American spirit: not blind celebration, but the stubborn refusal to give up on the idea that we can do better.

Working full-time for you fighting the corruption in Washington DC so you can work full-time supporting your family.

So here's to the America we're still building, one election, one conversation, one "wait, did you actually read that bill?" at a time.

(passes the potato salad with a knowing look)